Amy:
Very troubling that the song “Monster Mash” isn’t the Monster Mash — it’s a song about the Monster Mash, which is not itself heard on the track, and is fundamentally unknowable to us.
Be at ease. The possibility exists for us to hear the Monster-Mash-Universe-Monster-Mash-Song. Although we never listen to it sung, we can listen to it at some point. Here is why:
When The Mad Scientist committed an inter-reality incursion from the Monster-Mash-Universe-Reality to the Our-Universe-Reality, he opened the door to expose that universe to ours. Proof here is that:
- We can hear him narrating.
- We can listen to The Crypt-Keepers Five playing the music.
- We can listen to the backup singers to the Monster-Mash-Universe-Monster-Mash-Song.
- We know that the singer of Monster-Mash-Universe-Monster-Mash-Song is at the party and wants to sing again: Dracula
- A person is at the party listening to all this, and it is apparently not you: you are listening to Our-Universe-Monster-Mash-Song
Start by studying the diagram as a PDF, illustrating all of the evidence and relationships explaining everything. Be sure to click on the links for who wrote the song, the lyrics, and the video to get the full background. If you can’t do PDFs on your device then here is an image instead:
Click to get full-size version
Now that you’ve wrapped your head around it, you know that we can hear Monster-Mash-Universe-Monster-Mash-Song. Yet you are still left with an awkward feeling of discomfort and confusion. You know that something is very, very wrong with this song. Despite the above: something is left unexplained. You must be wondering why precisely the music is crafted so that we never hear Monster-Mash-Universe-Monster-Mash-Song?
You are right. You will read the answer below. It will push your mind to the limits of its understanding. If you are a real adventurer, and indeed you are, then read on to discover the actual conspiracy behind THE MONSTER MASH.